Nightlight (a parody) by The Harvard Lampoon

Nightlight (a parody) by The Harvard Lampoon
Publication Date: November 3, 2009
Versions: paperback, kindle

Summary (from barnesandnoble.com):
About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.



And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.


Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?


Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

This book is so funny. I'm a huge Twilight fan-so I've read Twilight a lot (pretty much like every other Twilight fan) so reading it again and again gets tired even though you absolutly love it. And then there's this book which follows the plot line of Twilight but in a whole new way (a very funny way). I laughed so hard when I was reading it and felt in such a good mood after reading just a few pages. I absolutly loved it.

Will I reread it?
When I need a good laugh, this book will be my first choice.

And just so if you don't understand how utterly hilarious this book is-a few lines are typed below:

Nightlight (a parody)  Pg. 44-45

     Two nights later, I had Internet access.
     I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, "Did you mean 'vampire?'" I said, "yes."
     I felt overwhelmed and confused by the results: "Nosferatu," "The Buffy Summers Workout," "Kristen Stewart's Onset Romance," "Midnight Sun leaked," "Robert Pattinson Excellent Blues Singer."
     Weird. What did any of this have to do with vampires? I got up from my desk, feeling silly for looking at pictures of a beautiful couple who were clearly not vampires. This search was fruitless; there were only 26,500,000 results. I was going to have to rely on my own knowledge. Then I though, why don't I share that knowledge with the world? I sat back down at the computer and went to the vampire Wikipedia page. I added a sentence to the article: "Edwart Mullen of Switchblade, Oregon, is a vampire, but don't kill him because I love him!" Then I added a picture of Edwart's abs.
     Great, I thought, shutting off the computer. I figured this was basically the same as telling my dad I was in love with a vampire, especially because he monitored my Internet activity.
     Suddenly, I remembered the song my dad used to sing to me every night when I was a little girl:

                                             If you ever have a crush
                                             On a vampire
                                             I will trick him into
                                             Getting into a car
                                             Then I will drive the car
                                             Into a lake
                                             And on top of the car
                                             I will put some stones

     I stopped singing gleefully, realizing my dad would probably have a problem with Edwart. Hmm. I decided I would tell him that Edwart was a vegetarian vampire, feasting solely on ketchup.